Over the first few posts, I'd like to break down the reasons that I, personally, do not have any desire to raise children. There are several, and they're not necessarily straightforward, so I'll be breaking it down into chunks. I realize that my reasons may not ring true for other women who choose not to have children. I realize that some of my reasons may seem completely irrational, and they may well be. I'm not a scientist, but I do have enough intelligence to be able to do some research, and therefore, I have. Some of what I've based my decisions upon may have been since disproven. While I invite people to share scientific findings (particularly those based on genetics, because that shit's cool and also I'd like to know if I am or am not effectively destined to have Disease X), I would also like to remind everyone that the science in my reasoning behind not having children is only one LEGO in the giant LEGO tower of reasons that keeps my uterus locked above a boiling moat of lava, guarded by a chemical dragon, and inhabited by a hormone-coated, t-shaped plastic spike. There is absolutely nothing on this planet that will change my decision. If humanity was destined to die out if I refused to produce offspring, then say sayonara to homo sapiens, because we're goners if that's the case.
Just so readers get a clear view of who I am, allow me to explain a few things:
- I am genetically female, and I identify as such. This is currently known as being cisgendered female. I was born with only female genitals, female genetic markers, and at puberty, developed female secondary sex characteristics. I do not have any hormonal imbalances that make me more masculine than any other "average" female person. (Note that average is in quotes. This is not meant to trigger anyone.)
- I identify as bisexual. I am equally sexually attracted to both male and female persons. I have never believed that this has had any influence whatsoever on my desire to have children.
- I have not had any major traumas in my life that would lead me to hate or fear children. My family was not murdered by children, I was not tortured by children or as a child, I was exposed to children when I was young, but not in such great quantities as to have caused some kind of horrific issue.
- I have had experience with children during my childhood, adolescence, teenaged years, and adulthood. None of these experiences has changed my views, save to further solidify my decision that I do not ever want children.
- I have a bevy of anxiety-based disorders that cause...interesting reactions when I'm put in high-stress situations, particularly if they're social in nature. Children, for those of you who haven't noticed, have an inherently social aspect to them, particularly when they're in the toddler stage. This causes my anxiety to explode.
Well, I think that's enough about my back-story to get anyone started. The next few posts will tackle my main contributing factors in my decision to remain childless before delving into social issues, interviews, and things of the like. That said, if anyone has any questions, or any topics that they would like to see tackled, please feel free to drop a comment! I'd like to be as transparent as possible, because I'd like the people who don't "get" my viewpoint to have a better understanding of where I come from, and I'd like for other women who make the decision not to have children to feel comfortable with their decision and not feel vilified for it. Ultimately, our lives are our own to control. That includes our reproduction, in case you were wondering.
